Nandemo yaro ze
by Master KaiKen
Summary: The “do anythingeverything” guys. After escaping from the ShinRa mansion and the clutches of the people after them, Zack and an unconscious Cloud finally get to Midguar City without so much as a scratch. There, they start a business that does everything!
1. Chapter 1

Nandemo yaro ze

AN: Now, I don't really like making prologues that much, because it sorta messes up everything with the chapter numbering and all, but a prologue really seemed to fit in here. So please, just bear with me. I don't know if other people have already written this kind of similar plot, but if there is, then tell me. Don't yell at me! I would gladly read it so that that story and this one would not be identical. Kapeesh?

Disclaimer: Last Order Final Fantasy VII is not mine. It was made by MAD HOUSE and Square Enix. Character designs are owned by Tetsuya Nomura. © All rights Reserved.

Now, without further ado, I give you…

* * *

Prologue 

"--cackle-- The targets have passed point 48 just now."

-- The radio crackled and spited, its signal weaving its way through all the static.

"In addition, the bike used has been left behind because it ran out of gas." The reporter on the other line continued. "It seems they have hitchhiked in a truck and is now making their way towards the capital."

A heavy sigh was heard. "Alright. I'll be there shortly."

The Turk leader rubbed his temples with another sigh. He contemplated for a bit, his eyes looking at the Nibelheim report portfolio, staring intently at a photograph of a young blonde trooper. In a moment of silence one question kept running through his mind.

_Are we planning to snatch their freedom away from them again?…_

And with that he closes the portfolio, grabbed his coat from the back of his armchair and makes his way across the floor towards the door out of his large dark office. The eerie greenish Mako lights danced outside the large glass office windows as the reactors made a surge of energy. Silently he closes the door…

His question was never answered…

------

"Hey...what are you going to do once we reach Midguar?..."

Silence. That was all that greeted him.

The sun grew a blaze in the morning sky. It seemed that the night before was nothing but a mere dream… No. A nightmare. Now, all you could see were endless stretches of blue and not a cloud in sight. The floor underneath them vibrated as the truck that they were hitchhiking on drove across the bumpy rocky dessert. They drove past beautiful breathtaking sand dunes imitating haunting shapes and casting shadows across the dusty earth. But the scenery did nothing to ease his mood. The sun's rays seared his skin despite how early it was in the morning. Inwardly, he sighed before continuing his one-sided conversation.

"Well, first of all, we need to get some money, huh?" he said nonchalantly, cheerfully yet cockily. He casually leans against the hull and turns his head over to look back at the old man who was driving the said truck. "Say, pops," he called. "Do you know any business that I might be able to do?"

"What are you saying?" the old man said. For the first time he was actually grateful that he wasn't met by a deafening silence. "You need to try out everything while you're still young. Go through many hardships while you're still young, and find that path of yours."

He scoffed at that. What a vague answer. So much for asking…

"'Everything', so he says." He chided, patting a hand on his knee. "Not much help there, huh?..." he said as if his other companion would agree with him.

He thought for a moment, putting a thumb to his chin. The young mercenary regarded the sentiments that the old man had said to him, gathering his scattered ideas before coming up with a seemingly workable plan…. And soon enough, a light bulb was turned on in his head, just in time as they hit a particular bump on the road.

"Hey, wait a minute… Oh yeah, that's right!" he exclaimed. "I have a lot of knowledge and skills that other people don't have, right?" he said as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. "Alright, I've got it. I've made up my mind." He decided, slapping both his knees. "I'll open up a business that does everything!"

"Oi, were you even listening to anything that I've said?" the old man seemed indignant with the youth's enthusiasm.

The young man continued as if he hadn't heard anything. "Troublesome things, and dangerous things… I'm going to do everything depending upon the reward… I'm going to make a fortune!" he grinned and raised his fist into the air in excitement, feeling much chipper than he actually did the previous night.

Then, his hand slowly withdrew when he noticed the silent figure next to him. The half-unconscious body remained still; its blue eyes were clouded, lifeless and staring at nothing in particular. They were glowing an eerie shade of green and the body's hands remained limp on its sides. It hurt to know that this boy might never recover from this nightmare and would most probably be forced to live as a lifeless shell… Like a doll… a lifeless doll… a vegetable.

If only he were strong enough to protect him from this fate. If only that man did not exist…

Dark blue amber eyes softened with sadness at that revelation, internally cursing himself for being too weak. He should've been there. He should've been the one to save him from that demon, and not the other way around. He should've done his job. The SOLDIER scooched closer to the other body, looking closely at the blonde's soft pale skin and empty blue eyes. At this angle he seemed so fragile in this state, he thought. As if the boy was made out of porcelain that if he touched him he could break into a million pieces.

"Say Cloud...what are you going to do? ---" the SOLDIER asked softly to his silent companion. He, of course, was not expecting an answer from him, but he felt like he was doing the other a favor by treating him as a normal person.

"…" again, there was silence.

"Nah, I'm just kidding." He didn't wait for a reply and continued without permission. "I won't do a thing like abandon you." He said, a weak smile spreading on his lips. "We're friends, aren't we?"

And as the truck drove on through the desert and as the sun's rays poured down in on them, it was as if their future was now decided.

"We're going to open up a business that does everything. Do you understand, Cloud?"

He let the silence work it way to the other hazy mind to let everything sink in. The hum of the truck engine lulled him to a calm, his stupor was occasionally disturbed by particular high bumps… And before he could even realize, the city loomed before them, Mako lights dancing amidst the city walls in all of its grandeur, like a giant beckoning them to plunge into their unknown fates. Its modernized structures were like an alien city among the lifeless barren desert surrounding it.

Who knows what's in store for the two mercenaries now…?

* * *

AN: Urgh, did I mention that this is supposed to be a comedy? I didn't mean for it to be all angsty and stuff, but that's just the start. As many of you may have realized by now, I got most of the parts of the prologue from Last Order. And that ends there. I'm not taking anything from Last Order anymore as the story progresses. Starting from the next chapter, everything will be fiction… well, sorta. 


	2. City

Nandemo yaro ze

By: Master-kenkoi

AN: The idea suddenly came to me when I accidentally stumbled upon this short doujinshi comic strip. It's a bit funny really. -chuckles- the link to it is in my author page. Zack was pissed off because he told himself that _he _was supposedly the protagonist in FFVII:AC and FFVII the game, not Cloud. But he didn't because, well… he died. Anyhoo – he was so pissed off at Cloud for stealing _his_ limelight and then suddenly, he strips off Cloud's Advent Children costume and puts it on himself. –– Now everybody was wondering why Cloud's hair became jet black. o.o;;

hehehe… you guys have to see it.

After that incident, questions keep bubbling into my head… What if Zack didn't die? What if him and Cloud reached Midguar and started that 'business' Zack was asking the old man about? (if you take note when you we're watching Last Order). I'm sure that the lot of you had the same idea flashing through your head one way or another… What if they became like, the 'GetBackers' or something? At that time, I had an unexpected visit from a plot bunny -- those questions turned into plots and then suddenly, here you have it. A story.

I know I'm not the first one who thought of this idea, but be rest assured that I didn't pattern this from any other ZackxCloud fanfics.

note: Mentions of Dirge of Cerberus would be shown, but not really as a spoiler. Just some glimpses of Shinra's deepest darkest secrets, 's all. Nothing to fear about. I took this from Crisis Core actually, since short glimpses of the DoC story appear there.

Disclaimer: Last Order Final Fantasy VII is not mine. It was made by MAD HOUSE and Square Enix. Character designs are owned by Tetsuya Nomura. © All rights Reserved.

* * *

Chapter 1: City

The sun grew ablaze in the clear blue sky. The vastness stretched out for miles and miles of unending blue and not a cloud was in sight, not a bird flew. Silent was the whistling wind among the barren lifeless wasteland. No living thing could ever survive out here out in the open. The hot air was searing to skin and dust rose up as wisps of smoke, unforgiving to the eyes. In all of this barrenness, a city stood in all of its glory, looming and towering over the desert shadows in its wake. The gaseous walls stretched around the capital as if to separate its inhabitants from the uncivilized wilderness. The eight large Mako reactors that lined the walls protecting the city often surged with energy to feed the people inside with much needed electricity. Inside those walls was a thriving bustling city of humans who would do anything just to survive. But these struggles of survival were kept out of sight from the outside world, for everything outside was still a calm.

Yet, as quiet and calm as it may seem, the air outside was thick with high tension and alert. Sentries and guards littered and patrolled the outer premises, staying as vigilant as ever at their posts, armed with swords, rifles and guns. This scene was not a common place-fair in the outskirts of the capital. A tight security was ordered through the passing of vehicles in and out of the city and this of course caused much delay. Check points were erected at the city entrances and all vehicles were required for an inspection. The heat of the desert along the searing heat of the waiting engines was only too much for some hot-headed drivers could take. There was a long line of trucks and other vehicles outside the city walls, making a slow procession towards the entrance doors.

A Truck finally drew to a screech in front of the inspection crew in front the two large double entrance doors of the city. The truck engine hummed noisily as its driver waited for the inspection. After a long while, a trooper finally peeked through the passenger window, his visor-covered eyes seeming to scrutinize the inside interior of the vehicle. A rifle stuck out from his side as if he were showing it off that he means business. The old driver raised an eyebrow at the said trooper, who was peering through his window.

"What seems to be the problem… err, officer?" the old man asked with a fake smile, trying his hardest not to irk the 'official'. He wasn't exactly thrilled to be here either. Waiting under several hours in the heat of a traffic could really grate at one's nerves. "Why the tight security all of a sudden?"

"That is none of your concern old man." Soldier said sternly, as if only then did he realize the old man's presence. "What is your business here?"

"I'm here to pick up a delivery that was scheduled for today." The old man said casually, waving his arms animatedly.

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

The trooper then turned to his comrades who were standing by the makeshift check point as if to ask for approval. They nodded, and the trooper complied. He then casually leaned against the truck door and whispered somewhat.

"Well then, you think you could help us out, old man?" The trooper said; boredom evident in his tone. "The reason why we have tight security is that there has been a breakout. 72 hours ago, 2 fully grown males have escaped the ShinRa facility, and now we are in pursuit of them. One of them is an expert in combat, who was once ranked as a first class SOLDIER. We were informed that the two fugitives are headed this way. Have you seen any sign of them? "

The old man scratched his head. "No. I haven't seen anyone of the sort… Not that I know of." He said, trying to remember. "But I think those two guys back there might answer your question." He said, pointing his thumb to the back of his truck. "I've got two hitchhikers with me."

The trooper nodded, beckoning to his other companions to check it out for themselves. Another trooper walked up to the back of the truck to inspect it. While this was going on, the old man tried to strike up a decent conversation with the young security guard in order to lighten up the mood, but he failed miserably. The trooper was anything but annoyed. A few seconds later the other trooper came back and whispered something to his companion.

"Are you lying to us old man?" the trooper asked with a raised eyebrow and his rifle.

"What? Wadda ya mean?" the old man blinked, raising his hands in a surrender and staring dumbfoundedly at the wrong end of a loaded gun that was pointed at him.

"There's no one at the back."

What? What the hell was the meaning of this? He was quite sure those two were still back there, that spiky-haired brat was still saying a mouthful… unless… he took a quick glace through his small rear window only to find the back of his truck was deserted.

"Well?"

The driver gulped.

-----

A grunt and a sigh. A sound of a body being gently slumped up against the wall of a small dingy alley. Two pairs of faintly glowing mako eyes were the only source of light in that dark passageway. He wiped his sweat off with the back of his hand as he tried to support the sliding semi-unconscious limp body with his other arm. The temperature was now cooler that it had been outside and he was rather thankful for his quick thinking of getting out of there fast. If he hadn't realized that they had set up posts at the entrances, which he knew that the people after them were bound to do, then surely they would be dead meat by now. He heaved a sigh of comfort and relief from the heat as the cool concrete walls cocooned them in hiding. He let the limp body gently drop next to him as he took a seat on the ground, taking a short but much needed rest. His trusty sword leaned with a reassuring weight on his back, and he was very thankful for it up until this point.

He never would've imagined that they would end up this far. It has been a long night, a very looOng night. And truthfully, he was lucky enough to be alive after through that whole ordeal, not to mention the weight he carried on his back, and that was not just saying about his sword. He glanced at the half-asleep boy – no,– the young man that was lying peacefully at his side. The youth's eyes were still as distant as they had ever been and they still gave off that haunting eerie glow. He smiled meekly as he stroked a strand of blond hair away from the other's face, admiring the soft features of the unconscious ex-trooper.

In himself, he really didn't know what drove him to save this kid out of that godforsaken place. He remembered everything, _everything _that had happened in those five torturous years of imprisonment. Even though he was rendered in a state of coma, a small part of his brain was still conscious and functioning, but it was not strong enough to resist the sleeping drugs entirely. He had seen how he was prodded and poked in unimaginable places, even in places where he didn't even know existed. He shudders to think of those horrible experiments now… However he was still very much thankful that that part of his brain didn't shut down. Because of that small part of himself, he was able to observe how Hojo uncapped his mako test tube prisons, and formulate a plan of escape.

Maybe he didn't want the freedom for himself, maybe he did not want anybody to suffer the same tortures that he went through, or maybe he was just afraid of being alone… but for the most part, the thing that drove him to do it was merely pity. He could still remember the pang of it like it was yesterday… and heck, it _was_ yesterday! He mentally slaps himself.

A flash of red lights from a patrol car distracted him from his train of thought. Dark mako purple eyes followed the passing car with stealth as he leaned closely to the wall behind him. They had to get to safe place to lie low for a while… and fast. Mustering all that was left of his strength; he started to stand up, pulling along the limp body and slinging its arm over his shoulder.

"Let's go, Cloud." He whispered silently as they proceeded to walk away out of that dingy alley way.

* * *

AN: Not much going on here yet and there's still not a strand of comedy either. But don't worry, everything will fall into place sooner or later. I have no idea where this is going, but be rest assured that a plot has already been settled.

Meanwhile, tell me what you think, give me advice or ideas if you want. And if I decide to squeeze it into the story, it would be very much recognized. Plus! You would also be given a fan art of your request. Please check my art at: www(dot)kaiplue(dot)deviantart(dot)com links to my artworks are on my author's page.

Check them out. You'll not be disappointed. -nods eagerly-

Review Please!


	3. Awake

Nandemo yaro ze

Chapter 2: Awake

_Flash back scene:_

_A strong hiss of sputtering liquid could be heard from the deserted empty lab. Droplets of green mako sprayed down on the floor as tubes recoiled back, spluttering more of the disgusting liquid from out of their mouths. A strong mist enveloped everything in a blanket of green, only to reveal a crouched figure on the floor a mere moments later. Shards of glass littered the now wet and slippery floor around the figure, which was coughing and heaving strangled ragged breaths, as if it hadn't breathed in air for a long time. It shuddered slightly from the sting of the cold damp mako air and also from its own bare nakedness._

_Toned tan muscles rippled as the figure straightened up to stand, reliving the feeling of one's own two feet after so long. Wet spiky black hair shook violently back, letting the mako droplets splatter against the nearby instruments. And finally, two glowing amethyst mako eyes opened in a fierce glow of determination. _

_He was free._

_He was finally free. He declared internally, finding his frozen vocal chords not of use as of yet. The SOLDIER looked around his surroundings, scanning anything that would be of use to him, by means necessary. Out from the corner of his eye he saw his trusty buster sword conveniently leaning against a wall. He saw his old uniform was draped over some random mechanical instrument of some sort, and the entire place he was in seemed utterly deserted. Perfect. Now was the time for escape._

_Everything was quiet, only the repetitive beeping of instruments and machines, and the lulling din of electrical circuits were heard. Mako eyes scanned again, making sure that everything was home free. Trying his hardest to steady his limbs, he walked gingerly about, getting his trousers and shirt from the instruments and hastily slipping them on, not bothering to find underwear. Not that he minded going commando for the time being, that was the least of his main priorities. Now, if only he could find the door to the exit…_

_His mako eyes scanned the room once more, this time looking for a possible way out; a door; a window; maybe even an air vent… anything. Well, he_ was_ desperate. He placed his thumb to his chin and looking thoughtfully about. There's gotta be a way out of here! Just as his eyes swerved the room, they suddenly caught something from the corner of his eye… Why hadn't he noticed it there before?_

_He turned around and faced what might be the most horrific image he had ever seen in his entire life. There his saw, eyes half closed and unconscious, bubbles floating within the liquid from the breathing apparatus, and wires and random tubes connected to naked flesh. There, floating inside a mako tube next to his own, was a helpless, almost dead human being…a very familiar person. _

"_Shit. Cloud!" he gasped. _

_Without hesitation he lifted his buster sword with a swoop, crashing it into the thick glass tube, making more of the green liquid spill on the floor. He caught the limp unconscious naked body in his arms as it fell limply forward, wire tubes ripping away from the blonde specimen. Just as the shards of glass hit the floor, only a mere seconds later did a repetitive whine sounded and echoed and red lights spun around. A wire might have triggered the alarm. Now was the right time to go. _

"_Don't worry Cloud. I promise I'll get us out of here." He whispered, lifting the other's body as he stood up…_

_-------_

Fire… it was everywhere. All he could see were the uncontrollable blazing flames. He could hear people screaming in agony as their flesh were wasted away in a burning inferno. He could barely breathe; his lungs were filled with the intoxicated fumes, poisoning him from the inside. He could see burning houses collapse from where they stood. He was scared, scared out of his wits. He was crying. Tears flooded his eyes, staining his rosy soot-covered cheeks.

A shadow… a figure… a dark creature loomed over him. Its eyes were fixed on him, giving him a lustrous stare. Lips pulled up to give a smirk, as if mocking him. Those bright demon eyes that reflected the blazing flames were soon lost in the fire consuming it as the black clad creature turned his back, silver hair flowing like water was it moved through the fire…

-------

He sat bolt upright, breathing hard as though he had been running. He clutched his chest from the fabric of his shirt as sweat dripped from his forehead. His crystalline blue eyes were filled with uncertainly and fear. What was this dream he just had? Questions filled his confused mind. He had awoken from a vivid dream that stuck fear in his heart. Somehow he couldn't remember. He pressed his hand on his face and closed his eyes.

His train of thought was suddenly cut short by a creak of a door. He opens his eyes once more and glanced upon the person who had just entered the room. A young man, probably as young as he was, with ridiculously spiky black hair and glowing dark blue eyes, sauntered in. He quietly watched the man close the door and turn to look upon him. A sound of surprise and relief was uttered from the new comer.

"Oh my god! You're awake!" The man said, a wave of relief came flooding upon the ex-SOLDIER's expression.

Blue eyes stared in curiosity as the other walked across the room; he noticed that the man was carrying what seemed to be a basin of water. The young man placed the basin on the bedside table before turning to sit on the bed, making the springs underneath it creak. Without warning, the other man suddenly cupped his face with warm calloused hands and looked straight into his blue eyes, breathing a sigh of relief.

"I thought you'd never wake up!" the raven haired man said, grazing a thumb on his cheek.

The blonde blinked. Everything just didn't register to him. Try as he might his arms remained limp at his sides. His blue eyes glanced over to the basin on the table and then to the man in front of him. He scanned the room he was in. It was a rather small room, the whitewashed walls in front of him were bare and there was only one window, enough to let some of the outside to be seen. Another set of questions bombarded his head, he wanted to ask everything, but he cannot seem to find his own voice. The other man finally pulled away from him, giving him a pat on the shoulder before sitting on a stool beside the bed.

"You were asleep for quite sometime now," the young man said crossing his arms across his chest. "For about five months at the most – that's an insane length of time for somebody to sleep. 'Didn't think you'd wake up ever again, but I guess you proved me wrong, spike." He said, moving his arms around animatedly.

Five months? How long was that? Somehow he felt even more confused. He didn't understand anything that was happening, let alone remember. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Who –" but before he could let the words roll out of his mouth, a sudden realization came to him, "Who… am I?" he blurted softly, feeling his throat rasp.

Silence.

The room went impossibly quiet at this unexpected question. The spiky haired man looked at him in shock, mako eyes staring in disbelief. No… this is not possible. It's just not. The clock on the bedside tabled annoyingly ticked away as the seconds passed. Things couldn't possibly get any worse than this. The shear bitter irony teared at his gut. This is not happening… He could only stare dumfoundedly at the young man on the bed, watching as the inner turmoil unfold inside of the blonde's head.

Who was he? Why couldn't he remember? He was supposed to ask who the hell this guy was until – Why couldn't he remember own name? Fear coursed through him like ice. Where the hell was this place? How did he get here?... Who the hell was this man? Question after question invaded his mind and there were a lot of things he needed to ask aside.

The blonde winced at the sudden pang of pain in his head. He covered his eyes and massaged them with the heel of his palm. Somehow his brain couldn't take the overload. The spiky haired man stood up and went over to the boy's side once again, gently pushing the young blonde back to lie down.

"Don't… don't force yourself too much…" he advised quietly. That was all he could say. He felt a pain in his heart when those wonderfully blue eyes stared up at him in all helplessness.

"Please… tell me…" the youth whimpered, clutching onto the young man's arm. "Tell me who I am… I need to know." He pleaded.

He saw a softness washed over the man's features in his plea, his disbelief being replaced by overwhelming pity. Why wasn't that what he wanted to see? He didn't need pity. He needed answers.

The ex-SOLDIER wasn't sure what to say or what to tell him. What should he do now? In truth he didn't know this boy all that much. For the past few months all he did was take care of this young boy-turned-into-man, yet he knows nothing of him. Only because he was a man of his word, he wasn't the kind of person that would break promises. He wasn't the right person to tell him who he was though. He turns his head the other way, not sure of where to start or what to say.

Silence again enveloped them both, the blonde's whimpers slowly dying down.

"Cloud."

The confused boy on the bed lifted his head and looked at the other at the sound of the word in confusion.

"Your name is Cloud. Cloud Strife." The spiky haired man said quietly.

"Cloud… Strife…?" Cloud echoed. This name was rather familiar to him. Could it be that this was his own?

"Yeah, that's right." The man said. "And I'm Zack." The man smiled meekly at him, a hint of a grin crossed his face, hiding an underlying emotion.

Maybe… maybe it was better if he would just stay quiet, Zack thought. He didn't want Cloud to suffer anymore. Maybe the memories were just too painful to be bared that's why whoever _up there_ erased them for him. Maybe it was better if he protected this kid. Shield him from the bitter truth… Shield him from the pain and aguish of loss… from that man…

He paused from his thoughts and looked over to Cloud. The blonde was covering his ears, rocking back and fourth. His eyes were dull and confused, emptiness filled those depths. "Cloud… Cloud… Cloud…" the blonde mumbled under his breath in a steady mantra. It was quite disturbing to see the boy in this state. He will only make too much damage if he revealed too much information. "It hurts…" the blonde said, clutching his forehead and wincing.

Zack sighed. He didn't want to see another soul be destroyed and waste away. Gently, he placed a strong hand on Cloud's shoulder and squeezed it gently as if reassuring the boy that everything will be all right. Blue innocent eyes opened gently and looked upon the hand on his shoulder tracing them to face the spiky haired man beside him. A look of utter confusion was evident on the boy's features as he looked up at him.

"Rest." Zack said quietly, his voice soothing. "Don't force yourself… Cloud."

Cloud nodded and closed his eyes. He was feeling extremely tired anyway…

For a while, Zack stayed a bit longer, observing the blonde while he slept again. But as soon as he was sure that the kid was sound asleep, he tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind him. He breathed a sigh and leans on the closed door. He looks up at the ceiling and contemplates for a while.

They will pay. He said to himself, his eyes flashing with rage and determination. They will pay for what they did to Cloud. Those bastards. How dear they mess with their heads until everything was all fucked up. He'll kill those bastards that did this to him… to them. He'll kill every last one of them. He'll kill them if it was the last thing he'll do. He'll kill that man too… That man that made everything in his life come crashing down.

"Is he awake?"

A voice cut him from his raging thoughts.

-----------

"Thanks Aerith." A clink of porcelain sounded as two cups of freshly brewed coffee hit the table, the sweet scent of caffeine tingling their noses.

"You're welcome." She smiled sweetly at them, pulling the tray to her lap. "I thought you guys might need it."

"We sure do." Zack sighed in his seat as he pulled up his cup and took a long sip with a satisfied 'ahh' at the end. "Yep, your mom sure makes the best damn coffee in all of Midguar. Maybe you guys should open up a business."

"Hmm… maybe we should." She said thoughtfully, placing a finger to her lips. "But I don't think my mom would approve. She hates busy places anyways. Besides, business in booming lately, since Valentines Day is approaching."

"Lucky for you guys." Said a disappointed voice beside the table. The blonde sighed and slumped casually to his seat, pulling off the cardboard advertisement off of his neck.

"Still nothing?" she asked in concern with a smile.

"Nope. Not one." Cloud slumped even further.

"Why does that not surprise me?" she said cheerfully.

"Maybe we shouldn't've posted those posters of Zack around." Cloud said, playing with his teaspoon on his lip. "I knew it was a bad idea from the start." Aerith giggled.

"It's not funny Aerith." Zack said haughtily, glaring slightly at her. "Imagine if you were in our shoes."

"Oh alright I'm sorry." She said with half a hand.

Even before Cloud could let out a smart ass comment, the bell of the flower shop jingled merrily as an old woman entered feebly with her walking stick; a meowing cat in hand.

"Oh Mrs. Quagmire!" Aerith greeted, leaving her two guests on the coffee table to their cups and bicker amongst themselves. "How nice to see you again. Would you be taking your orders now?" the flower girl ushered her in.

"Yes my dear. I'll be needing another dozen next week." The old woman said, a bit distracted. "But that's not the reason why I came in."

"Oh?" Aerith looked amused, blinking her big green eyes twice.

The old woman glance over to the two young men on the coffee table, who were arguing about who'll get to eat the doughnut, and walks over to them.

"Ahem…" she coughed, trying to get their attention.

"C'mon Zack! That's my doughnut." Cloud tried to reach for the pastry.

"Dose it have your name on it?"

"That's not fair, you already ate yours!"

"So? Finders keepers." Zack stuck his tongue out.

"Hem, hem." Another fake cough.

With a sound of frustration, Cloud lunged at the ex-SOLDIER who was dangling _his_ doughnut in front of his face, making them both topple down to the floor. The two men rolled around and around, grabbing the chocolate coated pastry from each other.

"Argh! It's mine! Give it back!"

"What if I don't want to?"

"Give it!"

"Make me!" and with that Zack swallowed the doughnut whole, chewing its chocolaty goodness in his mouth.

"Urgh! Zack you bastard!"

Cloud had him pinned to the floor, trying to pry Zack's mouth open with his bare hands in frustration. The ex-SOLDIER made chocking noises at the blonde's expense as Cloud's hand attacked the inside of his jaw.

"AHEM!"

Both men on the floor suddenly stopped in the middle of their wrestle, blinking idiotically at the old shriveled woman who was carrying her fluffy cat in her arms.

"Yes?" they both said in chorus.

"I hope I didn't make a mistake…" The old woman mumbled and sighed. She fished inside her big red bag and quickly pulled out a rumpled piece of paper. "Are you two the –" she read the paper through her magnified glasses. "'Do Everything Guys?'"

The old rumpled paper, as it turned out, was one of their makeshift posters with Zack's grinning face on them holding a PHS and sporting a thumbs-up with a cheesy caption of, 'We do anything and everything! From troublesome things to dangerous things, we do anything depending upon the reward. We have a hundred percent success rate! Or else your money back guaranteed.' (cue the corny theme song jingle here). At this, Zack suddenly lifted himself off of the ground, pushing Cloud off of him, making the blond land on his ass.

"Ouch! Hey, what the –!"

"Hai hai! Yes! We are the 'Wolfe & Strife Everything Service ™'!" Zack said cheerfully… too cheerfully actually, grinning like a maniac as if to say 'See? My posters really do work! Hah!', while rubbing his hands together. "What can we help you with in this fine fine day, milady?"

The ex-SOLDER maneuvered the old lady by the shoulders to a seat, not minding the grumbling Cloud on the floor. Aeris, who was observing quietly at all the commotion, came to the blonde's aid and pulled him up to his feet. Cloud then took his seat beside his arrogant partner.

"Uh…Well," The old lady sounded winded as she started. "I have a job for you."

* * *

AN: O.o I didn't know where the last part came from, so don't ask. Really, just don't. There, another short chapter done. Sorry if I'm taking so long in writing this shit. As they say, I do have I life ya know. Geh… still a bit angsty, huh? I can't believe I'm writing this so slow. -sigh- forgive me. Forgive me in always keeping you hanging like that. pift. If only I had a beta then this would've been mucho faster… But alas, I don't. You see, my friends aren't really that into the stuff that I'm into (aka: video games, in particular with Square Enix games, in particular with FFVII), so I sorta… keep everything to myself and end up beta-ing my own stories, which actually takes awhile.

Yeah. Sad little world I liven in, huh?

Anyhoo— yeah, about the whole 'Wolfe' thing…? Well, I just don't really know what Zack's last name is. Could somebody please tell me? I've referred to countless Japanese yaoi doujinshies for reference up until now, since I can't seem to find it in other gaming references (believe me. I've even tried Wikipedia and other official FFVII sites.) So far I've only seen the names 'Gongaga' and 'Wolfe'. I didn't choose Gongaga since I know that's Zack's home town, so I chose Wolfe since it sounds better anyway.

Next chapter preview: "purrrr… meow. Achoo!; We have a hundred percent success rate! Or else your money back!"; more cheap business posters; "We said we can do anything and everything… but…" ; BOOM! Is that an ALVALANCE?

Tell me if I suck. I just _need_ to know. -points to the review button-


	4. Attention!

ATTENTION!: This fic is under construction! A few details WILL be edited because of the whole Crisis Core plot and stuff and I want this story to be as close as possible to the original story. So… sorry for the wait and delay. –bows- I dunno if you people are still willing to read this story, but not to worry! It is NOT dead.

Thank you.

Master KaiKen out.


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